going through it.

So I realized today that I really have not been good, like at all, for the last few weeks. And it’s really hard for me to talk about feeling bad during the bad times—I don’t like talking about it until after I’m already through it and on the other side, and I can be allContinue reading “going through it.”

big things.

So it’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything! There’s been sort of a lot going on—not like actual things going on, but a lot of emotional struggles and changes and that sort of thing, and I just haven’t really been in a headspace where writing about it on here would’ve helped. But nowContinue reading “big things.”

embodying “ugh.”

I have been totally uninspired to write these past few days, both work-writing and writing on here. I’ve just felt…blocked. A lack of inspiration isn’t really it. I think a better way to describe it is almost feeling like I’d lost the ability to write. Obviously I know that’s not true. I think it’s moreContinue reading “embodying “ugh.””

choice.

I had sort of a rough day today. I felt really bad about my body, and it was really frustrating because in the moment, I could find a way to feel better. I struggled to love my body, despite how badly I want to. I felt so frustrated that I am always conscious of myContinue reading “choice.”

hair cuts & changes.

Here’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately: is this actually a good decision, or am I subconsciously self-destructing? What brought this question on today, you might ask? It’s pretty frivolous, but my hair. Every year around this time, I get the urge to do something drastic to my hair. Four years ago,Continue reading “hair cuts & changes.”

progress.

Today I am feeling so excited and happy and proud of myself for all of the progress I’ve made over the last few months! This morning, my yoga practice was much more intense than what I’ll usually do in the mornings, and it felt so good to see that I could actually do it! UntilContinue reading “progress.”

june 20th.

June 20th. Twelve weeks ago tomorrow. It’s strange to think about the time before June 20th, because it’s hard reconcile the person I am now with the person I was then. It’s hard to think about the choices I made for myself, because I can’t imagine making a lot of them now. June 20th isContinue reading “june 20th.”

journal #1.

This morning, I filled my first daily journal. I’d started using it on June 20th, and had an entry and list of 10 gratitudes for every single day since then! It feels like my first piece of physical evidence that I’m growing, changing, and healing. And also evidence that I have habits! Good habits! AndContinue reading “journal #1.”

social media.

Something that’s been at the forefront of my life for a while, but specifically the past three weeks or so, has been the process of turning social media from a source of negativity into a source of positivity. It’s really easy to get sucked into it, and to play the comparison game. Something I haveContinue reading “social media.”