balance.

Keeping up my routines has felt like a little bit of a struggle for the past week. I’m good about the mornings, but it’s been extra difficult to do my full evening routine. In particular, I haven’t done yin yoga in about a week, or any before-bed yoga or stretching. And usually I read a few chapters of a book before bed, but the past week all I’ve wanted to do is get cozy under the covers and fall asleep while watching Criminal Minds. I think I’m just adjusting to my new space, and I’ve just never had this much downtime after moving before so I never noticed the time it took me to acclimate.

I also sort of feel like I’m not totally present. I’m constantly thinking of what’s coming next—planning out when I’ll be able to buy the rest of the furniture, obsessing over my budget, thinking about things that are out of my control. It almost feels like I’m not ready to let go of the chaos of the last week. Or more like, this past week was the first time in a while that I let all chaos really affect me. It’s like moving itself what so hectic that I let all of the other chaos in my life and the world get a little closer to the surface, and now I’m struggling to let it go.

Basically, I’m trying to focus on decompressing right now. I’m doing my best to stay present and enjoy the experiences I’m having right now instead of getting worked up over things that haven’t happened yet, and most likely won’t. I’m letting myself do what feels right, while also trying to give myself a little direction to slowly guide myself back to my full routine. It’s kind of confusing to balance having a routine and also listening to my body/soul/whatever. It’s hard to tell if I’m pushing myself too hard, or if I’m just experiencing a natural resistance to things that require more energy that watching netflix in bed.

My point is that things are never perfect. I’m still trying to figure things out in every single aspect of my life, and it’s okay not to be perfect in all my routines. I’m allowed to take some time to adjust to this huge change, and to take some time to figure out what works best for me right now. So, yeah. I’m taking time, I’m adjusting, and there are probably going to be things that need to get reworked. I’ll keep everyone updated on how that goes, but I’m not putting a time limit on anything. I’m trying to just go with the flow, even though that’s not my instinct. The energy is going to balance itself out, and considering last week was all the way to one end of the chaos spectrum, maybe I just need some time to swing fully to the other end before things can balance out in the middle.

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