new home.

So I am officially moved into my new apartment! All of the furniture is built, all of the boxes are unpacked, all of the cabinets are filled, everything is organized. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as at home in any place I’ve lived as I do here. I feel like, for the first time ever, this place is actually mine. I find myself wanting to actually invest time and money into making it into what I want it to be. I think part of it is because this is the first place I’ve lived in where I provided a lot of the things for the common spaces. I picked out most of the furniture and I brought my own appliances and dish-wear and all that. Or maybe it’s because I actually plan to stay here for more than a year? In every other apartment or place I’ve lived since moving out of my parents house when I was eighteen, I’ve always known I’d only be there for a year. I don’t know what it is, but I feel committed to this place. It’s also just so beautiful. I just love being in here. It feels like every different place I’ve lived has been culminating to this place. It’s just so completely perfect for me. Just the right amount of space, totally clean and updated but still totally in my budget—it has all the raw materials I need to make this place my own. I also love that all of my roommates are as willing to take on projects as I am. Like painting, for example. I don’t know how many people would’ve actually been willing to take on a project like painting the bedrooms like that, but everyone was so down. I feel like we’re all ready to mold this place, to put in the work. And I just love that.

It’s also such a strange (good strange) feeling being sort of like…in charge? Not in charge, exactly, but like, I’m one of the people my other roommates go to for things? I’m really not explaining this right. What I’m trying to get at is that, for two of my roommates, this is their first apartment that they’ve lived in that hasn’t been a sublet for just a couple of months. So like, it’s an interesting feeling being the one that coordinated buying furniture, and having bills in my name, and figuring out how to organize things and stuff like that. “In charge” is definitely not what I meant, but I think maybe I’m kind of someone that the other girls can look to? I guess what I mean is that I no longer feel like the baby of the apartment. In the past, I’ve always been the youngest person in the apartment, or I’ve been arriving to the apartment by flying across the country, so I’ve never been the one to set things up. It’s always been that my other roommates would take charge a little bit because I wasn’t able to, or I didn’t have as much experience with things as they did. But now I’m one of the people with that experience, and I don’t know, it feels really cool.

Also, guess what? I’m writing to you from my beautiful new desk! I put it together last night, all by myself, and it’s so beautiful! I could not love it any more than I do. It’s exactly what I wanted, it fits perfectly, and I love sitting at it. It makes me feel like such a professional. I feel like I could literally do anything. Not to mention, sitting here makes me actually want to get things done. Sitting here, I feel driven to be efficient and on top of my life. It’s amazing, because that’s definitely not a feeling I’m all too familiar with. But yeah, I’m really loving it.

I think my favorite thing about this apartment is how eager I feel to keep building on what we already have. I just love feeling like there’s so much room to make it the perfect space. I already am so in love with it, so just thinking about what it’ll be like when I’ve added all the finishing touches is so exciting! I love the idea of adding to it slowly. I think what makes me so happy about it is nothing feels urgent. I don’t feel rushed in this space. On the contrary, I feel so completely relaxed and comfortable. I feel like I have all the time in the world to transform the apartment into my dream space.

Also, all of my roommates are my really close friends. One of the roommates in my previous apartment caused a lot of turmoil. She was a random pick because one of our original roommates dropped out, and she could not have been more toxic. So being here, now, surrounding only by people I know and love is just making the space feel that much more safe, comforting, and beautiful. I’m truly so happy to be here, and I can’t wait to really settle in and keep building this place into home.

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